Wednesday, September 23, 2009

putting up the fight

Ok, everyone. This is my first feeble attempt to blog since ICU. I apologize for not having one of my groovy retro pictures but I've make several attempts and technical difficulties are preventing me. I have one hand that is so swollen it looks like Popeye's hand and the other is so bruised from lack of palettes that it looks like Mike Tyson and I went head to head. Please overlook any blaring typos. First of all, thank you so much for the prayers, meals, carpools, thoughts, cards, and calls during this difficult time for us. Once again, it just proves how important community is to everyone.

Onward with the blog. My mother's hometown is centered around a beautiful lake in northeast Louisiana. When I was fourteen, my cousins and Aunt Tricia (love you guys!)taught me how to water ski. I probably drank half the lake, and needed a typhoid shot in the end. But I was NOT giving up. And I did learn to ski. I'm not the type of person who gives up easily. Maybe it was all that speech and debate from high school and college. I am a fighter. But in the past two weeks, I've learned there are times when you have to turn it over to HIM.

I don't remember much going into ICU. I'm giving that up to God.
How could this happen to me? I passed every preliminary test with flying colors? Only HE can answer that. If you didn't believe in the power of prayer before, I am living proof that it works. Yes, I had great doctors with God given knowledge. But I am convinced that it was God who held me in his hand and brought me back.

My fight is not over. We know the stem cells have engraphed. That is really good news. We won't know if the cancer is completely gone and what my new blood type will be for a couple months. However, I have a feeling that the Italian cord is winning because I've been craving red wine and Italian cheese and meats. There is a good chance I'll do radiation which I would happily do after all this. Learning to walk and take care of yourself is a bear (had to use a Baylor reference). For someone who likes to be so independent, this has been a very humbling experience for me. More times than not, I am at the mercy of others. I have a new profound respect for nurses. These women are some of the hardest working women I have ever seen and do it with such compassion and care. We could all learn something from them.

When you are faced with a challenge which we often are- fight. Take a stand and don't back down. But when it comes to things you can't control, turn it over to God. He'll carry your cross when you can't.

I pray for each and every one of you every day. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful quilt of friends and family. If you have ever looked at a well made quilt, it is composed of beautiful but unique pieces of material. Each one of you represents a piece of my quilt. Each one of you beautiful and unique.

God bless you all,
TFS

7 comments:

  1. And, I am so blessed to have YOU in my life. What an inspiration you are to me and MANY others. I know that you have some of the top doctors watching over the past several weeks, but I 100% believe that God brought you through this. He has a plan for you, Tracye, and your work on this earth is not yet done. You are touching so many lives with your strength and ability to stay positive...keep fighting, girl. I love you so much and just THRILLED to be getting these fabulous blog updates once again.

    BIG HUGS....Nat

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  2. Bravo, Tracye! That was a beautifully-written, wonderful message. I am so blessed to have you as a friend. God is working through you and affecting so many lives.

    Love,
    Kelli

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  3. What an inspiring message. You are an amazing woman. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Love,
    Dayna

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  4. Tracye, God was smiling down on me one day back in 1998 when he placed a sassy, funny, dearly compassionate woman at the locker room stool to my right. I had absolutely no idea that day as to the amount of courage and inner strength you possessed, or how knowing you would impact my life. What a gift, what an honor it is, just to know you. Thank you for your post, and may God strengthen every fiber of your being until you can walk out that hospital door and start your life anew. I love you, my friend.

    MaryJane

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  5. U have made such a difference in my faith journey tracye. I don't think u will ever know how many people ur faith, courage, strength have impacted and inspired. Seriously I think u are becoming one of those living urban legends like the mom that lifted a car off her child secondary to maternal adrenalin when a child is in danger. I am so happy u came into my life before u became a super hero so I could no ur human and so approachable and real. I can't wait to see u at least by auction time if not at fun fest. Thanks for inspiring me daily. Mary Colley

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  6. Sweet Tracye- I am so happy to see your writing again! You are truly uplifting. Still praying and thanking God every day for your strength. I really enjoyed spending time with Anne Renee. She is such a doll...her way of the highway...just precious! Did you see the slide show I sent Doug of her 1st day at ballet with ms. Christa? All she wanted was to go back to my house for a tea party. When you are up to it, we will have that tea party. I can't wait to see you. Sending big hugs and much love. Michelle

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  7. Tracye, Cara had a copy of your blog entry up in the office for all of us to see. What a miracle you are! I have been praying for you every day. I had friends and family all praying for you, who in turn had their churches, their friends, and their family's all praying for you. You are amazing, and if I ever saw God at work, it was with you. I can't wait to see your smiling face in the hallway at West University Methodist! Love, Maureen Hurst, co-worker with Ann Card in the Monkey Class:-D

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