Monday, August 10, 2009

Keeping an eye on the prize

Bonjourno from MD Anderson Room 1181 (I put the wrong # on my last update). I apologize for waiting so long to send an update but it has been a very rough two weeks. My first week was filled with a drunk fest of chemo by Joel the Pole. I am so ready to dump him. Make that a cocktail of chemo on steroids. I actually had hallucinations. I told my mom that Etta James and Beyonce were at my house and Etta was mad that Beyonce had butchered her song. I had conversations that I vaguely remember. Unfortunately, the hallucinations were the fun part. I am now thankful that I can keep food down. People have asked me how I'm feeling. Basically, I feel like I'm pregnant with the flu and hungover all at once. But I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. My projected release date is Aug. 24, a day before my birthday. I cannot think of a better present!

My sweet friend, Laura, came all the way from Lake Charles to spend the night with me. It was so good to see her. And thank you to all my sweet friends that have made the trek up here. I just felt odd not being "the hostess with the mostess". For those of you who plan to visit, I am giving you a heads up. My hair is falling out- a delayed result from the chemo. I'm getting my GI Jane cut so I can quit looking like a Holocaust victim.

Before all the unpleasantness, Doug and I were fortunate to get away on a mini vacay to Napa and San Fransisco. It was wonderful. During the trip, we got to visit with two families we had not seen in a while. One was our good friends the Pavels and the other was my childhood best friend and her family. Her name is also Traci. We were the Traci/Tracye's and were a force to be reckoned with! I was so much fun to catch up and talk about old times. She brought back some great memories. One of them was how much I love "The Sound of Music" and I used to make her listen to it on my cool turntable. I can pretty much sing any song from the movie (but trust me, I don't sound good). I started thinking about "My Favorite Things" and how I can focus on some of those when the treatment gets rough. My children and husband are a big inspiration to me to get well. So are my volunteer services and my friends. But I decided to make a list of "warm fuzzies", in no particular order, to think of when the going gets tough.

1. The skin to skin feel of napping with a new born baby and getting a whiff of that wonderful baby smell.
2. Baby ponies, kittens or puppies.
3. My three girls in coordinating or matching clothing.
4. Finding the perfect present for someone.
5. Reuniting with a friend you haven't seen in a long time and picking up just where you left off.
6. Watching Doug with the girls and witnessing the love between them.
7. My youngest calling me Chuck. I think it is adorable that she has a special name for me.
8. The first day of school. I loved it as a student and still love it as a parent.
9. Me and the girls singing to the "Little Mermaid" at the top of our lungs in the car.
10.The whole family snuggling in the morning on a cold winter day.

So when the dog bites, when the bee stings, and when I feel so sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad.

I am now more comfortable with visitors. I'm not on the loopy narcotic anymore. Feel free to pop in and visit.

God bless you all,


  1. YAY! you are on the way to recovery girl. So good to hear your update. I keep you in my prayers daily. Love ya, Maike.

  2. Sending you lots of ((((((hugs))))))

  3. What an inspiration you are!! I'm praying for you and continually placing you in the loving arms of the Great Physician. You are like a window, His window, that is allowing His love to shine and flow out and touch so many. Thanks for sharing your walk.

    Sharon (Kenyon) Webb :)

  4. Tracye, you & my sister Cathy are my greatest heroes! Hope to see you soon.

  5. Hang in there Tracye. We are all praying for you!!! I just re-read your inspirational note from January 2009 JLH mtg and it made me weep. You hang in there; we love you!