Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Will the real Tracye Sellers please stand up?
First of all, this picture is for all my high school friends who remember me fondly as a bowhead! I cannot help I was born this way. If I had enough hair, I would wear a bow now.
As most of you have gathered, I try to be a very positive person. I have to be when I'm in the situation that I am. When my girls start complaining about someone, I make them tell me three positives about that person. Then we talk about how that persons good characteristics outweigh their bad ones. Well, the other night at the dinner table Abbey and Julianne started complaining about each other. I know it is a normal sibling thing. God knows I complained about Caroline and I'm sure she had some choice words to say about me. But I decided that I was going to make them tell me three things that they liked about each other. I have to say it was a hit. After they complimented each other, they wanted to do the same for me and Doug. So we went around the table and said three things we liked about each person. Now they want this to be an everyday occurrence. I think I've created a monster!
The compliments that Doug and the girls said to me were quite entertaining. Abbey and Julianne like that I snuggle with them in the morning, I take them for ice cream after school sometimes,I make good dinners, I give magic kisses so that they have sweet dreams and I'm not bald anymore. Doug said I was kind, nice to people and a good homemaker. I would like to think that I am a kind and nice person- as long as you don't hurt someone I love as I mentioned in my previous blog. But the good homemaker struck me as funny. My husband may have married me because he thought I was cute, or he liked the fact that I could cook. But I can honestly say he did not marry me for my housekeeping abilities. I felt like I was on that show that my mom and I used to watch when I was little. It was called "To Tell the Truth". They would have three people come out claiming to be the same person. They would have a panel of three contestants that would ask questions to determine who was telling the truth about who they were. Here Doug is describing this person who is kind and a good homemaker and I'm looking around the room to see what she looks like.
This got me thinking how different people can see us from how we see ourselves. People have mentioned to me how brave I am or what a good attitude I have about my illness. The truth is I do get scared. I get really sad to think I have a life threatening illness. I do have my "oh, pity me" days every now and then. But instead of letting myself wallow, I'll name three things I'm thankful for- that it is me and not my children going through this, that I am not alone, and that I have faith in God to cure me.
I would not exactly call cancer a positive experience. But positive things have come from it- the outreach of so many wonderful people, I have been able to build an awareness of stem cell donation, and be an example for my girls to show them how a marriage and a person handles a crisis in life.
As far as my update, I stood up Joel the Pole tonight. My blood work showed a low white cell count so my chemo was postponed a week. My schedule is to take the chemo once a week for three weeks and then have a week off. I will do this for at least two more months but more like four or five. It is by far, the easiest treatment I've had yet. I won't lose my hair but I'm not getting attached to my new doo quite yet. What will happen is after I finish this treatment, I will hopefully be in remission. They will give me a concentrated high dose of chemo (think chemo on steroids) which will probably make my hair fall out. But hey, it's only hair. Those are five words I never thought I would say! And then I'll have the stem cell transplant.
I don't have any results from the marrow drive. I found out it will take about six weeks for M.D. Anderson to receive them and then they have to match the typing to mine. So in the meantime, we still pray for that perfect 10 out of 10. I know that person is out there. Thank you to all who have gotten tested! I'll put the word out as soon as I know anything. Feel free to leave comments on the blog- but only if it's nice. Any mean comments may result in a scandalous story about you in my next blog that may or may not be true! Did Doug mention my sense of humor?
God bless you all!